min far
In August that year, I found myself in a retreat on a farm surrounded by nature. On the 17th of August, I was engaged in an exercise to let all negativity out. After I released my fears, it was suggested I retire to my room and lie down quietly.
As soon as I went to my room and laid down, I felt myself being pulled out of my body. I don’t know for how long it lasted, and once I returned back into my body I had no clue what had happened or where I had been. I just had a very strong feeling that I had been somewhere else and that it had been important.
The next day, the 18th of August, I received a call from my mother, who was living overseas at the time. As I walked towards the phone, I felt clearly that this phone call was about my father. With every step I took towards the phone, I became more convinced that he had finally killed himself. By the time I picked up the receiver I told her: ‘It is Dad, isn’t it?’ ‘He has died, hasn’t he?’ I could even tell my mother he had died taking pills.
When my mother and I hung up, I had this realisation. I suddenly knew where I had been the day before when I went ‘out of my body’. I had been with my father. With crystal clarity, I saw him lying on his bed with a glass of wine, and a whole heap of pills. He was smoking a cigarette, and I was sitting next to him on the bed, holding his hand. I was there until the end and as soon as he died, I helped him cross over.
I started walking down the road real fast, trying to process what I had just heard and seen. It wasn’t until I eventually started walking back to the farm that the grief hit me. I fell on my knees and howled.
After the initial pain, I felt drawn to climbing up into a tree. While climbing into the branches, the guilt of having cut my father off set in. As soon as the wave of guilt hit me, my father was there with me. ‘Stop it right now’, he said to me, ‘don’t feel guilty. I did it for you. I did it to free you from carrying my pain around, so you could live the life you were meant to live’.
Even though I have grieved my father’s loss for many years, I have come to accept that he left this earth for my sake, so I had the chance to flourish and succeed without the burden of his pain.
He visits me often, usually with a very quick “fly-by”, and it is great to feel his spirit without the earthly luggage.
I am a “Star seed” and so is/was my Dad. I couldn’t have been born without his amazingly loving soul-energy and I couldn’t have survived had he not left.
Thank you Dad
Bless you a million times
Love you forever
As soon as I went to my room and laid down, I felt myself being pulled out of my body. I don’t know for how long it lasted, and once I returned back into my body I had no clue what had happened or where I had been. I just had a very strong feeling that I had been somewhere else and that it had been important.
The next day, the 18th of August, I received a call from my mother, who was living overseas at the time. As I walked towards the phone, I felt clearly that this phone call was about my father. With every step I took towards the phone, I became more convinced that he had finally killed himself. By the time I picked up the receiver I told her: ‘It is Dad, isn’t it?’ ‘He has died, hasn’t he?’ I could even tell my mother he had died taking pills.
When my mother and I hung up, I had this realisation. I suddenly knew where I had been the day before when I went ‘out of my body’. I had been with my father. With crystal clarity, I saw him lying on his bed with a glass of wine, and a whole heap of pills. He was smoking a cigarette, and I was sitting next to him on the bed, holding his hand. I was there until the end and as soon as he died, I helped him cross over.
I started walking down the road real fast, trying to process what I had just heard and seen. It wasn’t until I eventually started walking back to the farm that the grief hit me. I fell on my knees and howled.
After the initial pain, I felt drawn to climbing up into a tree. While climbing into the branches, the guilt of having cut my father off set in. As soon as the wave of guilt hit me, my father was there with me. ‘Stop it right now’, he said to me, ‘don’t feel guilty. I did it for you. I did it to free you from carrying my pain around, so you could live the life you were meant to live’.
Even though I have grieved my father’s loss for many years, I have come to accept that he left this earth for my sake, so I had the chance to flourish and succeed without the burden of his pain.
He visits me often, usually with a very quick “fly-by”, and it is great to feel his spirit without the earthly luggage.
I am a “Star seed” and so is/was my Dad. I couldn’t have been born without his amazingly loving soul-energy and I couldn’t have survived had he not left.
Thank you Dad
Bless you a million times
Love you forever