Life doesn't work for me
Read more:
Tuning into her past lives, I could see images of her (as a man) struggling to create a better life for her and her community: trying to construct a road between one village and another to create better trading between communities. In another picture I see her (again as a man) carving a hole in a mountain, to create a tunnel, so that the community is no longer shut off from the outside world. But to no avail. The people surrounding her were not this advanced. There had never been a tunnel, why create one now? They had always gotten by without access to the produce of neighbouring villages, why change that?
The memories of being an island, and having to give up, disillusioned, because working without support was too hard, was still strongly present in her life now.
Looking at her life-path I saw that this life was not meant to be a struggle, but a life in which she made peace with herself and with life, by using all the freedom her ancestors had been refused. She was to use all her talents freely and abundantly, and most of all, to not get tied down by any outdated limiting beliefs from the people surrounding her.
Well, to me that looked like she could have no problem whatsoever achieving this in life. She looked impressive: maybe not pretty, but special. She was completely her own person. She had a lot of personality, and this came out in everything she wore, said and did. In my eyes, this was the type of woman who would always attract people to her.
- She did have issues to work through with people though: because she was meant to follow her own path and nobody else’s, she had a kind of ‘take it or leave it’ mentality that could easily rub people the wrong way. It was also in her life path to be very cautious of people, because it was almost her destiny to fall on her face every time she followed somebody else’s ideas or philosophy -
Besides being a person who naturally attracts people – as love-me-or-hate-me people normally do -, she was very talented. During the reading I saw so many talents coming up, I became envious. She was intelligent, creative and artistic: she had a built-in idea factory that continuously sprouted ideas; she had great organisational skills, guts and an amazing fast working brain. Plus she was strong as an ox, with a surplus of energy.
When I looked at her life at the moment though, all I could see was a big question mark, and a long table, full of papers and materials of different sizes and colours, in total disorder. I said: “Wow, it looks messy” and trust me, this was me being nice. I told her that it looked like nothing was working in her life, and that is when the floodgates opened.
‘I am so happy to have this confirmed’ Jane said, between sobs, ‘because this is the truth. The worst thing is that nobody believes me. I see everybody else around me moving forward in life, it is only me who goes around in circles without ever getting anywhere’.
Then she told me her story: she taught art history at university, and she had done this for 2 decades. To me this was a position of dazzling heights, as unlikely for me to reach as the top of Mount Everest, but Jane made it sound like she was stuck in a dead end job.
She told me about her many ambitions and projects, and how they all failed, because of doors closing in front of her. She wanted to turn the history of arts into a fad, but her idea for a TV series hadn’t been picked up; her manuscript ‘art history is fun’ was rejected by countless publishers; the friend who was going to make her art history website had let her down, which meant she couldn’t do the art history online courses she had prepared, and the list went on.
In her personal life, the situation was equally tragic. And also here she didn’t believe that she had any responsibility or saying in the way things had gone.
She had been married to an alcoholic who had become increasingly nasty when he drank – yes, she had known that before she married him, but she loved him, so she had given him the benefit of the doubt – and now she was stuck in a relationship with a married man – yes, she had tried to leave him, but she was too lonely and miserable without him. No, she didn’t think he would ever leave his wife for her -.
I got the image of a wall that needed to come down, but first I needed to find the weak point in her solidly build misery barricade, to give me a starting point.
There was positive and lively energy around the website she was talking about, and I told her so. Before she could give me another list of reasons why it couldn’t work, I explained that what I saw, was that she was stuck in a ‘nothing-works-for-me’ belief, which was different from thinking she was singled out to be blocked. Because in order for her to be denied success in everything she tried, there had to be someone causing this. As she had told me she didn’t believe in the existence of God or any other ‘someone or something’, this couldn’t be true.
I continued to say that I knew she didn’t agree with me, but as she had decided to dedicate her money and time to come and see me, she might as well give my point of view a crack.
I also explained that when I give a reading, I believe that I am just a radio set, through which the higher self of my client delivers messages. After all, me as Melita, doesn’t not know Jane and therefore can’t know what would be the best strategy for her.
The message came through crystal clear: take the project which currently has the most energy and stick with it, until you wake up to the fact that you have a choice. Rule number one to ten: the ‘nothing-works-for-me’ thought is banned for good. This includes its relatives such as ‘this isn’t going to work’, or ‘this is too complicated’ or ‘this isn’t worth it’. For the duration of the project, you are only to focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t do. This is not an unreasonable request, considering you have spent many years focusing on everything that doesn’t work for you.
As for your boyfriend: sorry, but he is not the one for you. If you wouldn’t be so down, you wouldn’t give him much thought. You are such an intelligent woman, that you make love with your brain. This guy does not stimulate you. The only thing that is exciting, is the fact that your time together is limited. If you would have more time together, you would get bored immediately. There is a man out there for you who is your equal, he is as strong-minded and as intelligent as you are. You will meet.
To avoid the ongoing pattern with your boyfriend, stay creatively involved in your projects. You are fortunate to be a person who becomes completely consumed in what you are doing what you are passionate about. This way you will need him less and less. Let the relationship run dry instead of creating another drama.
Do the same with your project. Avoid the drama of being high when something works, and being low when something doesn’t. If you can’t find someone to make your website, make your own. I did it, and I didn’t write a thesis on the hidden differences between Rubens and Rembrandt. As a matter of fact, I didn’t write any thesis ever! If you don’t want to do it on your own: dig into your savings and pay someone. If you can’t afford that: sell something or take out a loan. Just do not think those old thoughts.
Make it a game, in which you challenge yourself with deadlines. Promise yourself you will have your website up and running in 2 months’ time. Then start to add stuff: self-publish your book. Don’t want to do that? Fine, build your online course around the book. Every chapter is a lesson. Adapt the chapters or even re-write them to make them fit. And so on.
Was Jane convinced? No. Was she convinced enough to give it a go? Yes. It happened when I said: after believing for years that nothing works for you, it is only reasonable to give ‘it will work’ a go. This is where her higher self found the right spot to crack the wall, and where the ongoing negative proof production – temporarily - stopped. Jane is cultured and developed, and underneath all the drama and victimhood she has a lot of common sense.
This reading happened many years ago. Jane still comes for a reading almost every year. She calls it her yearly decluttering. She still lets negative thought patterns run away with her at times, but she has much better control over them now.
Besides online courses, she runs workshops on a regular basis. She is currently writing a book on the world’s most famous stained glass windows.
She eventually left her married man, and is now involved with a man who lives interstate. As she puts it herself: the situation is not drama-less, but there is a lot less drama than in her past relationships.
I tried one of her online courses, partly because I was so proud of her, and partly because I liked the idea of liking art history. I will stick with doing readings though, that is a lot easier to like for me.
Tuning into her past lives, I could see images of her (as a man) struggling to create a better life for her and her community: trying to construct a road between one village and another to create better trading between communities. In another picture I see her (again as a man) carving a hole in a mountain, to create a tunnel, so that the community is no longer shut off from the outside world. But to no avail. The people surrounding her were not this advanced. There had never been a tunnel, why create one now? They had always gotten by without access to the produce of neighbouring villages, why change that?
The memories of being an island, and having to give up, disillusioned, because working without support was too hard, was still strongly present in her life now.
Looking at her life-path I saw that this life was not meant to be a struggle, but a life in which she made peace with herself and with life, by using all the freedom her ancestors had been refused. She was to use all her talents freely and abundantly, and most of all, to not get tied down by any outdated limiting beliefs from the people surrounding her.
Well, to me that looked like she could have no problem whatsoever achieving this in life. She looked impressive: maybe not pretty, but special. She was completely her own person. She had a lot of personality, and this came out in everything she wore, said and did. In my eyes, this was the type of woman who would always attract people to her.
- She did have issues to work through with people though: because she was meant to follow her own path and nobody else’s, she had a kind of ‘take it or leave it’ mentality that could easily rub people the wrong way. It was also in her life path to be very cautious of people, because it was almost her destiny to fall on her face every time she followed somebody else’s ideas or philosophy -
Besides being a person who naturally attracts people – as love-me-or-hate-me people normally do -, she was very talented. During the reading I saw so many talents coming up, I became envious. She was intelligent, creative and artistic: she had a built-in idea factory that continuously sprouted ideas; she had great organisational skills, guts and an amazing fast working brain. Plus she was strong as an ox, with a surplus of energy.
When I looked at her life at the moment though, all I could see was a big question mark, and a long table, full of papers and materials of different sizes and colours, in total disorder. I said: “Wow, it looks messy” and trust me, this was me being nice. I told her that it looked like nothing was working in her life, and that is when the floodgates opened.
‘I am so happy to have this confirmed’ Jane said, between sobs, ‘because this is the truth. The worst thing is that nobody believes me. I see everybody else around me moving forward in life, it is only me who goes around in circles without ever getting anywhere’.
Then she told me her story: she taught art history at university, and she had done this for 2 decades. To me this was a position of dazzling heights, as unlikely for me to reach as the top of Mount Everest, but Jane made it sound like she was stuck in a dead end job.
She told me about her many ambitions and projects, and how they all failed, because of doors closing in front of her. She wanted to turn the history of arts into a fad, but her idea for a TV series hadn’t been picked up; her manuscript ‘art history is fun’ was rejected by countless publishers; the friend who was going to make her art history website had let her down, which meant she couldn’t do the art history online courses she had prepared, and the list went on.
In her personal life, the situation was equally tragic. And also here she didn’t believe that she had any responsibility or saying in the way things had gone.
She had been married to an alcoholic who had become increasingly nasty when he drank – yes, she had known that before she married him, but she loved him, so she had given him the benefit of the doubt – and now she was stuck in a relationship with a married man – yes, she had tried to leave him, but she was too lonely and miserable without him. No, she didn’t think he would ever leave his wife for her -.
I got the image of a wall that needed to come down, but first I needed to find the weak point in her solidly build misery barricade, to give me a starting point.
There was positive and lively energy around the website she was talking about, and I told her so. Before she could give me another list of reasons why it couldn’t work, I explained that what I saw, was that she was stuck in a ‘nothing-works-for-me’ belief, which was different from thinking she was singled out to be blocked. Because in order for her to be denied success in everything she tried, there had to be someone causing this. As she had told me she didn’t believe in the existence of God or any other ‘someone or something’, this couldn’t be true.
I continued to say that I knew she didn’t agree with me, but as she had decided to dedicate her money and time to come and see me, she might as well give my point of view a crack.
I also explained that when I give a reading, I believe that I am just a radio set, through which the higher self of my client delivers messages. After all, me as Melita, doesn’t not know Jane and therefore can’t know what would be the best strategy for her.
The message came through crystal clear: take the project which currently has the most energy and stick with it, until you wake up to the fact that you have a choice. Rule number one to ten: the ‘nothing-works-for-me’ thought is banned for good. This includes its relatives such as ‘this isn’t going to work’, or ‘this is too complicated’ or ‘this isn’t worth it’. For the duration of the project, you are only to focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t do. This is not an unreasonable request, considering you have spent many years focusing on everything that doesn’t work for you.
As for your boyfriend: sorry, but he is not the one for you. If you wouldn’t be so down, you wouldn’t give him much thought. You are such an intelligent woman, that you make love with your brain. This guy does not stimulate you. The only thing that is exciting, is the fact that your time together is limited. If you would have more time together, you would get bored immediately. There is a man out there for you who is your equal, he is as strong-minded and as intelligent as you are. You will meet.
To avoid the ongoing pattern with your boyfriend, stay creatively involved in your projects. You are fortunate to be a person who becomes completely consumed in what you are doing what you are passionate about. This way you will need him less and less. Let the relationship run dry instead of creating another drama.
Do the same with your project. Avoid the drama of being high when something works, and being low when something doesn’t. If you can’t find someone to make your website, make your own. I did it, and I didn’t write a thesis on the hidden differences between Rubens and Rembrandt. As a matter of fact, I didn’t write any thesis ever! If you don’t want to do it on your own: dig into your savings and pay someone. If you can’t afford that: sell something or take out a loan. Just do not think those old thoughts.
Make it a game, in which you challenge yourself with deadlines. Promise yourself you will have your website up and running in 2 months’ time. Then start to add stuff: self-publish your book. Don’t want to do that? Fine, build your online course around the book. Every chapter is a lesson. Adapt the chapters or even re-write them to make them fit. And so on.
Was Jane convinced? No. Was she convinced enough to give it a go? Yes. It happened when I said: after believing for years that nothing works for you, it is only reasonable to give ‘it will work’ a go. This is where her higher self found the right spot to crack the wall, and where the ongoing negative proof production – temporarily - stopped. Jane is cultured and developed, and underneath all the drama and victimhood she has a lot of common sense.
This reading happened many years ago. Jane still comes for a reading almost every year. She calls it her yearly decluttering. She still lets negative thought patterns run away with her at times, but she has much better control over them now.
Besides online courses, she runs workshops on a regular basis. She is currently writing a book on the world’s most famous stained glass windows.
She eventually left her married man, and is now involved with a man who lives interstate. As she puts it herself: the situation is not drama-less, but there is a lot less drama than in her past relationships.
I tried one of her online courses, partly because I was so proud of her, and partly because I liked the idea of liking art history. I will stick with doing readings though, that is a lot easier to like for me.